The Vintage Tales of Viking Vinyards

The Anvil War Part I: The Seeds Are Sown

by Finn Normansson

In June of this year (A.S. XXVIII), the second Gulf War was fought between the kingdoms of Ansteorra and Trimaris. By the composition of the opposing armies, however, it seemed more like a war between Ansteorra and Meridies. Few of the current population of Seleone know of the first time the armies of Ansteorra and Meridies clashed, so I have chosen to start these vintage tales with the story of the Anvil War.

The story of the origin of this war lies in Ansteorra, so I have no direct knowledge of it. I have, however, heard the following story about the war's origin:

Around the time of the coronation of Sir Francois DuVant as King of Meridies, there occurred in the neighboring kingdom of Ansteorra an event at which both the Baron of Bordermarch (Beaumont, TX) and the Baron of Stargate (Houston, TX) were in attendance. The Baron of Bordermarch at this time was Sir Simon of Amber. I do not know the name of the Baron of Stargate. I also do not know the exact nature of the event but the Baron of Stargate, who was an armorer, brought his anvil with him.

During the course of the event, the Baron of Stargate accumulated many new possessions (whether from presentation, purchase, or plunder, I know not). When it came time to load his wain for the return to Mundania, the Baron of Stargate realized that there was no longer room in the wain for his anvil. This vexed the Baron of Stargate until he remembered that his good friend Baron Simon, also an armorer, was still on site.

The Baron of Stargate sought out Baron Simon and explained his problem. "If there is sufficient room in your wain," asked the Baron of Stargate, "would you be so kind as to take the anvil back with you to Bordermarch? I shall retrieve it in six days time." To this Baron Simon agreed and the anvil was loaded into his wain.

A fortnight later, the Baron of Stargate received a call via farspeaker from the Baron of Bordermarch. "My good friend," spake he, "when are you going to come to reclaim your anvil, for my fair lady wife and I are looking forward to your visit."

"I am most sorry to have left the anvil in your care for so long," said the Baron of Stargate. "I shall be by to retrieve my anvil in six days time."

A fortnight later, the Baron of Stargate received another farspeaker call from the Baron of Stargate. "Your Excellency," said the Baron of Bordermarch, "please come by and retrieve your anvil for it takes room in my stables that I have sore need of."

"Of course," answered the Baron of Stargate, "the business of the Barony has kept me far too occupied. I come to reclaim my anvil in six days time."

A fortnight later, the Baron of Stargate received yet another farspeaker call from the Baron of Bordermarch. "As the pearl is an irritation to the oyster so has the anvil become to me," said the Baron of Bordermarch. "If you do not retrieve this anvil in six days time, I shall assume you meant to give it to me as a gift."

"You have every right to be wroth," said the Baron of Stargate. "Have no fear, in six days time I shall be there."

Six days passed, plus another seven when the Baron of Stargate appeared at the keep of the Baron of Bordermarch and announced, "I am here to retrieve my anvil."

"Your anvil?" asked the Baron of Bordermarch. "You have no anvil here, all anvils in this keep belong to me."

There followed a lively discussion concerning the ownership of the anvil. Eventually it was decided that the only honorable way to settle the dispute was by test of arms. Both barons agreed to meet that spring on the plains of Anahuac State Park with their respective armies.

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