It seems that whenever Axemoor traveled to events in Hammerhold, interesting things happened. In the Fall of A.S. X, Hammerhold held an event that included a ceilidhe after the feast.
I had just come back from a Viking trip during which I had composed a parody of The Village People hit “In the Navy”. I called my version “With the Vikings”. Filled with the exuberance of being home again and perhaps a little too much of my mead, I entered the ceilidhe. Much to my surprise, I won! This is not, however, what I wish to tell about.
One of the other entrants in the ceilidhe was Baron Sir Beorn Collenfehrth of Axemoor. Sir Beorn sang the song “Fenario” which was much favored by the Axemoor boys. As he sang, he accompanied himself on the guitar. This was his downfall.
Baron Beorns' persona is that of a Roman-Celt; as such, he favors Roman garb and armor. On this occasion, Sir Beorn was wearing a leather lorica and a short skirt. As he was accompanying himself on the guitar, he stood with one foot on the seat of a chair so that his thigh could support the instrument. In that position, the hem of the skirt rode up high enough and Sir Beorn was exposed. Fortunately, he was wearing underwear.
We in the Axemoor section tried to attract Baron Beorns' attention to this without attracting the attention of the whole audience. Baron Beorn was so engrossed in his performance that all our efforts were for naught.
After his performance Beorns' squires apprised him of his inadvertent display and there was much good natured jesting at Beorns' expense. The story does not end there, however. Several months later, Axemoor had a baronial picnic which was moved indoors because of rainy weather. As we sat around in good fellowship, we told tales of our recent exploits. Of course the tale, of the Hammerhold ceilidhe had to be told.
Squire Esteban told the story with great relish to an appreciative audience and the deep blush of Baron Sir Beorn. At the conclusion of the story, Sir Beorn said, "The worst part was that no one told me about it until after I had finished singing."
"You mean you didn't notice all the ladies giggling and smirking?" asked Isolde.
"Or the ones holding up the cards saying, '9.6, 9.8, 9.7'?" I added.
At this point the population really started to chortle and the Barons' blush deepened. What really brought the house down was when the Barons' youngest son, with the innocence of a child asked, "Is that long or wide?"
At this the entire population of Axemoor was incapacitated with laughter with the exception of the Barons' squires. The squires were leading the Baron from the room lest he throttle his son and/or expire from terminal blush.
Later, when he had regained his composure, his Excellency asked, "How could I answer him without bragging?"