This is one of those tales that calls for a large degree of tact on my part; names will be withheld so as not to anger the guilty. I also should warn you that it contains adult situations and language, so parental discretion is advised.
For many years, there was resident in Dragoun's Weal, a Laurel by the name of Siobhan Breoghan. Mistress Siobhan is a very pretty and petite young lady and is rounded in all the right places. Several years ago when I was attending the Drusian Games, a Dragoun's Weal event, she told me the following story:
At one of the wars Meridies was involved in, there was an arts and sciences competition to decide a war point. This competition was to be judged by the Laurels of the participating kingdoms. It seems, however, that very few of the Laurels of Meridies were in attendance and all but one found some pressing business that prevented them from being free to judge the competition. As you no doubt have guessed, that lone Meridian Laurel was Mistress Siobhan.
While all the other noncombatants at the war were socializing or watching the fighting, Siobhan was stuck in a hot hall judging arts and sciences entries. Many of the things she judged, such as armor, were quite far from her area of expertise. After over eight solid hours of this, you can imagine that Siobhan was not a "happy camper".
The good Mistress left the hall thirsty, hungry and tired; and quickly realized that she wasn't sure in which direction from the hall her tent laid. In her wanderings, she happened to pass by the encampment of Duke Sir Kane Redfeather, who hailed her and offered Siobhan the hospitality of the camp.
"Have you got anything to drink?" Siobhan asked.
"We have some lemonade," Duke Kane replied.
Siobhan was quite thirsty and chugged the glass that was offered her before she realized that this was alcoholic lemonade. On her empty stomach, the alcohol hit her like a ton of bricks and now she was both tipsy and fuming.
Duke Kane, realizing too late that it was irrigation not libation that Mistress Siobhan had been seeking, now offered to help her find her tent. The problem was Kane had no more idea of the way to Siobhan's tent than she did. Eventually, they wandered into the royal encampment of another kingdom.
The king of this particular kingdom had an ill reputation and, I am sorry to say, not undeserved one. He made the two Meridians guests in his royal pavilion and immediately started "hitting on" Siobhan. The royal lecher tried several lines on the Mistress while her irritation continued to grow. Finally, His Majesty suggested,
"I think it would be very good for our two kingdoms if our people, such as you and I, got to know each other."
This was the proverbial last straw for Siobhan. She put on her sweetest Southern belle smile and said in her most dulcet tone,
"You mean if I go back to your tent with you, and let you jump on my bones, you people will stop being such a bunch of *ssh*l*s?"
Duke Kane suddenly realized that he was the lone Meridian knight in the royal pavilion of a king and kingdom that Siobhan had just given a mortal (albeit well deserved) insult to. His Grace grabbed Siobhan and all but dragged her from the pavilion saying,
"I think it is time we got back to the Meridian encampment, Mistress."
Nothing further was heard of this incident at the war, but I am sure the foreign king will never forget it. So, be advised young men everywhere, it is for women such as Siobhan that the term "Steel Magnolia" has been coined.